Balance? I don’t know if this is an actual thing to strive for, in my life at least. Often times balance seems like an unrealistic “thing” but I still try to find it. In case you are just showing up here, or came from Brittany’s blog, BestinBlogs let me introduce myself. I am Jenn…the main roles I have in life are wife, mom (I have 3 daughters), daughter, friend, and business owner. Although they are what I do in life, they are not necessarily who I am. I like to believe there is much more depth to me and I’m constantly learning new things about myself. Having all these roles on my plate make life very full and busy. Over the past 5 1/2 years of being a mom I’ve discovered a lot about balancing all these. A few of my mom friends and I have teamed up to share our thoughts on Balance as a mom. I’ve learned 5 ways to have work like balance as a mom. Today I’m sharing what I’ve learned with you in hopes it helps you travel toward finding balance.
This is what everyday looks like in my head…
This is what everyday actually looks like…
This is how I end most days…a little sweet treat
The 5 main lessons I’ve learned on how to have work life balance as a mom are to:
Over the years I learned to just stop… stop worrying, stop caring and to stop doing everything. I’ve stopped worrying about the things I can’t control. I’ve stopped caring what others think of me because I can’t make everyone happy. I’ve stopped doing everything. I don’t need to be everywhere and everything to everyone. Now, it’s taken me making these mistakes to learn to stop them. When I was worrying about things I couldn’t control I was stealing time from my family. When I cared what others thought about me I let that determine what I thought of myself. And when I stopped doing everything I finally felt free to do what I really enjoyed.
After I was able to stop so many things it helped me turn my attention to what I really wanted. I learned to focus on things that mattered to me. Figuring out what really mattered to me helped me become more intentional in life. What I discovered was joy. I still slip up with this because someone waves a shiny thing in front of me and I say yes even though it goes against what I’ve chosen to focus on. It sounded so good at the time but then when its actually right in front of me I’m thinking to myself “why did I say I would do this again?”
This one is one I struggle with often. To be honest with you having to carry the weight of everything on my plate overwhelms me sometimes…okay, you caught me…weekly. It overwhelms me weekly. But I’ve noticed a huge difference when I’ve taken the time to prioritize I am striving instead of sinking. On the weeks I’ve prioritized my time, the people in my life and my own expectations things run so much smoother. Last week, my husband left town for 5 days. I have a lot of friends who have husbands who travel weekly for work and do I have a new appreciation for them! The day before he left was Mother’s Day. I spent the day cleaning and doing laundry and I meal prepped. I sat down that night to my glass of wine and felt so ready to take on the week! The week was so successful with my three little girls! Now, I’ve learned to do this on a weekly basis. I’m also going to prioritize some grace into my life because I already know there will be weeks I won’t do this and I will need to give myself some grace!
Saying NO has been the biggest lesson I’ve had to learn. I have spread myself so thin that I’ve caused myself to get sick. A few years ago I read this amazing book by Lysa Terkeurst called The Best Yes. It was a game changer! I highly recommend it! If I can’t give it my best yes then it’s a hard no. She has a really cool check list in the book that helps you determine if you should say yes. What really captivated me was how she made this a heart issue.
Now that I’m a mom of 3 sweet girls I’ve learned to just give in. My girls are still young, 5, 2 and 5 months. Learning to give in to what they want to do at certain times, had lead to some of the best memories we’ve created together. Giving In has shown me that everything doesn’t have to run on a tight schedule, they will survive and be just fine. Giving In to my family has never been a wrong choice, something good has always come from it. They come first, I come second. I have a deep desire to share my thoughts with the world and I want to change the way women see themselves but right now God is telling me that time will come and this time with my sweet little girls is fleeting. It may take me longer to do certain things but that’s just fine by me. If God wants it to happen it will in His time.
I hope you find ways to Stop, Focus, Prioritize, Say No and Give In. I know you won’t be sorry for doing it. I’m constantly learning how to get better at these things and in turn I keep discovering cool things about myself. I’m also growing as a wife, mom, daughter, friend and business owner through these! Catch all the action over on Instagram and keep up me. Check out Leslie’s take on balance on her blog Pretty Petals.
Mom Balance from all of us